Seeking Power Over Others vs. Seeking Mastery Over Yourself

I witnessed an interaction on Facebook on the day before I shut down my account that made me decide that it wasn't worth my time even just for networking with musicians.

There was a person on there who was utterly convinced that "nazis" deserve to be punched in the mouth and that my friend was a "nazi".

And while listening to Spellbound: Book II of the Grimnoir Chronicles on the next day, there was something a character said about another character about how they'd make a good "secret policeman in a police state".

It makes me wonder just how much people ask themselves whether they, themselves, "would make good secret policeman in a police state" if they practiced what they preached?

Do they ask themselves whether they would make a good Inquisitor during the Spanish Inquisition?

Do they deem themselves to be worthy to judge, jury, and executioner?

The claim to moral goodness often seems to imply the power to use force over others.  And that's how a person gets to a point where punching so-called Nazis without any due process seems like a good idea for how to organize a civil society.

A Self-Interested Moral Goodness

There is such a thing as a claim to moral goodness that doesn't imply a desire for power over others.  

This is the moral goodness of making your bed in the morning.  

It's the moral goodness of a job well done whether anyone notices or not.

It's the moral goodness of keeping yourself in good physical condition even though you're in a committed and monogamous relationship.

It's the moral goodness of a commitment to know and face the truth regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

These are the moral goodnesses of a personal nature.  It's between you and your conception of the good (what people call God).

It's a self-interested and self-investing moral goodness.  It's building yourself into a person of character and authentically worthy of pride.  

It is self-mastery: the conquering of your own laziness, disorderliness, cowardice, and greed.

This kind of moral goodness doesn't seek power over others.  It realizes that the only way for others to achieve this kind of good is to undergo the unique struggles that their lives have handed them.  

Struggle is a guarantee in life, along with death and taxes.  How you deal with struggle is the only question that has ever mattered to any human being.

How the World Becomes a Better Place According to the Bookface

Memes

  • Step 1: person posts rage-driven engagement-inducing meme.
  • Step 2: even more see that shit and feel either rage or self-righteousness
  • Step 3: profit

Blog posts written by your own hand

  • Step 1: Write something on your blog that can actually engage people in discussion without triggering them
  • Step 2: Two people see it

How to Be An Asshole and Feel Good About It

(Warning: Turn on the sarcasm filter.)

The Formula

If I care about...

  • (Group 1: the victim... please select one or more)
    • women
    • gays
    • transgendered
    • blacks

...then I have a license to belittle, harrass, and disrespect people who are...

  • (Group 2: the privileged... please select one or more)
    • men
    • straights
    • cys-gendered
    • non-blacks

...and anyone who criticizes my arguments in favor of the same victims.

The Mentality of the Enforcer

"The privileged" (Group 2) have no ground on which to demand common decency unless they first pound their chests about how privileged they are.

Unless they understand the depths of their guilt, we will treat them in accordance with that guilt.

By treating "the privileged" badly, I am being kind.  I am increasing net kindness in the world.  And I am only being mean to people who deserve it.  Their lack of inclusiveness as evident by their lack of making similar noises is all the evidence I need of their bigotry.

There is no live-and-let live with bigots.  You can't ignore them.  You have to shout them down and make civilized conversation impossible for them.

Only by making the right noises can they prove their innocence.  Maybe then they can they be permitted to be heard.

You can tell a person isn't a bigot because they also shout down bigots.  Support these people.

Anyone who disagrees is a bigot or is giving comfort to the status quo.  They stand in the way of social progress.  They need to be treated like bigots.

If I have identified a new type of victim that other people aren't including, I've changed the game and I'm a winner.  I get to mistreat any people who don't acknowledge this unsung victim until they start making the right noises.  I love this game!

In the end, the world is going to be such a kind and inclusive place!

I'm really making the world better!

Pooping rainbows and love out of my ass is amazing!

Staging a Self-Intervention Using A Low Information Diet

An aquaintance on the bookface asked what she ought to do about the fact that she has experienced a panic attack each morning since the election. How do you redirect the fear into constructive action.

I gave this advice with the idea that the fear doesn't have to be accepted at face value. Reality is mostly constructed and we are using some pretty manipulative sources in recent years:

Honestly, I would stop getting your news from social media and cable.  Cable wants your eyes glued... so they scare the shit out of you if they can.  Social media wants to cut through the noise so they need outrage  and fear as an attention grabber.
I'd suggest a low information diet for 3 weeks starting today.  Announce  it to your friends and let them know that you will not be on social media as much and to please TEXT or CALL you if it is time to fight in the revolution.  
If you use a password manager, randomly generate new passwords for all of your social media sites.  Then turn off auto-login.  Then logout... everywhere.
No news for 3 weeks.  Then after that, international news sites only for a month.  International news sites will be dialed in to a different cultural demographic which is just a bit off to plug directly into your gut.  It will allow you that crucial extra little bit of mental wiggle room to not be manipulated by the outrage and fear peddling.
Finally, yes... there is real shit going on but no one is being loaded on trains and it's not time for open revolt yet.  You will know when your friends can no longer speak their minds without being arrested or detained or threatened with **physical** harm.  For now, I simply expect that the news vortex you have subjected yourself to has created your world of constant anxiety and panic.  
Time to intervene on your own behalf.

And if you want a great audiobook that will inspire some thought about how we can open up possibility with the stories we tell ourselves, consider this book: The Art of Possibility. The audiobook version was strongly recommended by Seth Godin and I rather agree it has a lot of good ideas on how to work with your mind to achieve open-ness and orientation to what is possible.

An Affiliate link for the same book on Amazon follows (you may have to disable adblock to see it):

Social Media Companies Need Our Outrage and Hate

I saw a lament today that Twitter doesn't work to create a safe space on their community to prevent vitriol and hate. And I find it unsurprising.

Twitter is the wild west of social media. There are nearly no rules and no barriers to creating new accounts. So it's not surprising that some users feel free to heap abuse on others with no fear of penalty.

Twitter (and Facebook) have every incentive to let outrage, hate, and vitriol happen. To be an effective advertising platform (or user impression data mine) you need a system with active users. Outrage drives traffic and keeps people engaged longer and gives the outraged reactor the illusion that they have done something meaningful. (Just consider how much time you spend crafting a response to something you think is wrong compared to something uplifting and or cute. There is a reason Facebook only had a "Like" button and a reply button for ages.)

CNN and Fox News make a business of scaring the crap out of people to sell advertisements. They thrive on tragedy. Now, these are broadcast media so an analogy is going to be limited when comparing with social media. But I think the dynamic is the same if you substitute tragedy with controversy or outrage.

Right or wrong, that's my opinion on a common dynamic with social media companies. They want us to troll one another. They don't care about what kind of world they create. That's our job.

Photo Credit

# Buffalo Bill 10 | Toda a Arte e Graciosidade das Antigas C… | Flickr